Essence
by Fix.Me.Dead
Summary: Shizune's PoV. Three years of loneliness can change a girl. [Warning: Yuri] [TsunadexShizune in the future]
1. Chapter 1

**Essence**

**_A/N: Hey there! I shall continue my Yuri streak! Here is a story requested by my friend. It's in Shizune's PoV. Future M rated situations? Maybe..._**

**Chapter 1: The Essence of Life**

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I remember when this used to be a fun thing to do. Swinging with my friends and family in the park, running around without a care in the world, coming home to warmth and love. Now, now that's all dead to me. I can't believe how naive of a child I used to be. I can't believe how much I've changed in the span of 3 years. 3 years...3 pain stakingly long years. I...I feel like giving up.

Kicking a can along the streets in the dead of night, I ignore the drunken calls of hammered old men and walk casually into a bar. The owner was a nice guy, he always offered me a nice drink. It sucked though, just ebcause I'm only 18, he doesn't ive me a lot. I appreciate the thought though. Especially in this time of year, an alcoholic drink was one of the only things that warmed me up.

I received offers into orphanages, foster homes, you know what I mean. Some people find it weird, maybe even stupid, but i reject those offers. After being abandoned, after seeing several of my dearest people die before my eyes...I decided that the world is dead to me.

In the span of one year, I've been thinking about ending my life. I even thought of many methods to rid myself of this life. There was no more to look forward too, there was absolutely no essence in life.

Something kept me going. I had no idea what the hell it was. Whenever I saw that tip of the knife rest at my throat, or grip the cold handle of a shot gun, I felt myself tremble. I mean, come on. Life was a train wreck, but it just kept on moving along. I accepted no help from anyone, I am a lonely kid. that's all I'll ever be.

Don't take me as some stupid piece of trash. I actually maintain my life pretty well. I know the best spots for food so I'm never hungry, I know a reliable place for a water fountain, and clothes? What more can I need besides rags that covered me head to toe? yeah, that's it, if you were to stare at me right now; which some people are already doing, you would see that I look like some sort of leper. not only does it keep people away, but its actually quite comfortable. Take that fashion society.

I couldn't help but flinch as I heard the door of the bar swing open with a loud crash as the door came into contact with the wall. My right eyebrow raises as the doorknob falls from the door, a blonde woman followed by a small pig following after.

"My usual," she cried, a frustrated look fixated on her face. By the whimper of the small pig and the slight pink in her cheeks, I could tell that she was drunk. I've never seen her here before, but the old man chatted her up like she was a good friend of his. he gave off a laugh as she replied with slurred words.

I turn back to my own drink, thinking it's best to ignore the other customers. I never pay real attention to them. They're just a bother. They could worry about their lives, while I debate about the worth of my own.

As soon as I finish my drink, I ask for a second. The old manm grants me it, but before I get a hold of it, he reminds me that it's my last one, "I know I know," I reply. Taking a small sip of the poison I feel my throat and stomach warm up again.

Lowering my head, I feel something near my arm. I turn to see the small pig rubbing it's nose into my ragged up arm. I couldn't help but smile at it's cuteness. Damn my vulnerability to cuteness.

"Ey Tonton, leave the poor girl a-hic-lone," the blonde hissed, the pig obviously not listening.

"I don't mind," I reply as I take the pig into my arms, "This Tonton is pretty cute, eh old man?" He smiles at me and gives me a nod. Turning back, I see that the only ones remaining in the bar was me, the old man, the pig, and the drunken blonde woman.

"Ey, Tsunade!" The old man called. I have been playing with this pig for about 10 minutes now. I think she likes me. "TSUNADE!" The old man cried again. I frowned in synch with the pig as we turned to face the old man and the blonde one. "Damnit," her mumbles, shaking her ferociously.

"What's wrong?" I ask, bringing the pig with me, "Stupid drunk woman won't wake up?" The pig shook in my arms and snorted at me in frustration, "O-Oh, sorry Tonton, she's your owner right? I guess I should show more respect." Keh, if it weren't for this pig, I would've been gone a long time ago.

"Shizune-chan, please do me this one favour," the old man pleaded. Yeah, he's on familiar terms with me, I never bothered to ask him for his name, and he's never offered.

"What is it?" I ask, the pig running out of my arms to jump on top of Tsunade's in an attempt to awaken her.

"She's out cold, and I need to return home. Could you bring her to her house? It's only two blocks away," he pleaded with hopeful eyes. I let out a sigh and nod slowly. Afterall, this man had always been kind to me. He's even offered that i stay at his place with his wife and dog, but I've refused. Instead he treats me with alcohol, and on occasion junkfood. I couldn't just say no.

"What's the number of her house? Any noticable physical features?" I ask, placing the blonde-err Tsunade, on my back, the pig riding on top of my head. Now, I may look small, but I am pretty strong. I look at the old man as he prepares himself for the cold outside, waiting for a reply.

"Um, her house number is 2194, and its pretty noticable. She's a very skilled doctor so she's got a lot of that money. Tonton will probably lead you to her room, and probably knows where the key is," with that he walks us out of his bar and he turns the opposite direction that I am about to go. "Thanks again," he says as he waves goodbye to me.

I wave goodbye to him and let out a sigh. Tonton makes a strange pig noise as I begin my journey to the drunken doctor's house. Heh, maybe I'll keep her habits a secret. I've always thought that doctors were supposed to be responsible. Afterall, they are supposed to save lives right?

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Strangely, the pig had a key in a pocket of it's shirt. Careful not to drop the knocked out blonde, I open the door to find myself amazed by the amount of space that was in view. Holy cow, maybe I should try to become a doctor. Like I have the money to study it anyways...

Anyways, the pig brought me to the woman's room. It was rather spacey, but it had a simple look. I ignored taking in details and liad her atop her mattress. I watched as the pig rested next to her head. Waving a silent goodbye, I left the room.

--

Oh great, it's been an hour since I left that room and I haven't found the exit to this house. Tired from wandering around and carrying a woman on my back, I hide in one of her many closets and fall asleep in the warmth of numerous sweaters.

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_**A/N: So yeah, my friend who requested this is Bern. Her username here is .Symphony.In.The.Abyss. I think. Anyways, review please!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Essence**

**_A/N: Oh, yay, reviews!! I agree, there need to be more with this pairing. Anyways, enjoy this chapter!!_**

**Chapter 2: The Essence of a Home**

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I wake up when several of the sweaters fall from where they were hanging. I frown, annoyed by the lump that was growing on my head. Getting up slowly, trying my best not to make a noise, the door swings open with a loud bang.

"Who the hell are you?" came the voice of the blonde. I grumbled as I stumbled out of the sweater filled closet. Regaining my balance, she simply stares at me, waiting for an answer.

"Shizune," I answer honestly. Rubbing the back of my neck I realize that the rags that were all laid out over my head were gone. Damn.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she then asks, obviously oblivious to last night's events.

"I brought you here after you passed out drunk," I reply, crossing my arms, "Just tell me where the exit is then I'll be on my way."

"Wait a second, you were able to carry me?" she asked, her eyes slightly widened from shock, "Not that i'm overweight or anything, but a small, delicate looking child like you could carry me?"

I frown, do i really look like a child? "Miss, I'm probably only 10 years younger than you. I am not a child."

"I see that my magic continues to work," blondie says, smirking to herself. I raise an eyebrow at her/ There is absolutely no such thing as magic, espcially not in this world.

But I still couldn't help but ask about it. Ever since boredom and ending my life entered my mind, I started to wonder about a lot of things.

"Magic doesn't exist," I say firmly instead of asking. I guess I felt more like exclaiming that than anything else. My hopes for anything thats even remotely related to 'magic' and 'miracles', has decreased to nothing. My feelings won't change unless something like that actually happens.

"It does," she replied with a smirk, "And I'm one of the few that can harnest it."

"Prove it then," I challenge. its not like I have anything better to do. So far, this woman hasn't kicked me out of her house.

"Sure kid," she replied, her smirk widening. Keeping my arms crossed I wait for her to 'dazzle' me with whatever kinds of things she considers magic.

She simply placed her hand on top of my head. I frowned, what was she doing? In a matter of seconds I realized what she was up to. It felt very relaxing, the warmth that took away my injury.

"T-that's magic?" I ask as she removes her hand.

"Yes," she replies, cracking her fingers like it was no sweat. "Only those who've suffered then found the will to help others can attain such magic."

I thought for a second, she's a famous doctor. She's stinking rich. It must be because of her magic.

"Had a rough past?" i ask, trying not to remember my own.

She nods, "Not like its any of your business anyways."

I sigh, she was right. Who am I to ask such a personal question, "I see."

Her smirk turned from a mutual face, to a frown, "Kid, shouldn't you go home? Your parents or whoever's taking care of you will worry." Hah, finally she asks.

"I have none thank you very much," I reply with a pout. "Oh, and I am NOT a kid."

She placed one of her hands on my cheek, "You have such delicate skin, and you have quite the delicate figure as well. How old are you?"

"18."

"Oh, so you should be heading to your dormitory."

I sigh once more. Isn't the rags a good enough signal? "I live alone, I have no home, I have nothing. Just an old man and his bar, a reliable trash bin, and a school's water fountain." Hah, has my life come to the point where I tell my story, get offered to stay, then I refuse and end up touching another person's life by the little things I do for the old man? I wish my personality was more like a daredevil. I just don't have that kind of courage to step it up.

"Oh..." she muttered. Now if I weren't just standing here, staring at her, I wouldn't have been able to catch the nostalgic look in her brown eyes. They were a little hazy, as if she were remembering something.

Oh yes, 'Only those who have suffered...'. I've suffered, and I guess I have nothing better to do. Should I ask this woman to teach me about this magic and medical stuff? I glance at my feet as she continues to think over things in her mind. It was a little nerve racking, but I was patient.

"Shizune was it?" she then stated, my eyes returning to look at her face. I simply nod in response, waiting for her to continue. "Why haven't you looked up foster homes, or stay in an orphanage?"

"I didn't want to," was my simple answer, my eyes turning away. "the world became dead to me, trust wasn't an option. I don't want to rely on people."

"Old man Sarutobi asked you to do this for him. You two must be close."

Oh, so that was his name. I frown, "I guess he's an acception."

"And if you really are the kind of person you've just described, you would've s[ent the whole night trying to get out instead of simply falling asleep. And even if you were too tired, you would've just walked away when I asked you name."

"That would've been rude," I retort simply, my cheeks slightly pink. She got me. She could tell that I was hesitating.

"I like you kid," the blonde then says. I turn to her with my eyebrow raised once more. Did she just say that she liked me? I wonder how things'll turn out.

"Thanks?" I reply questionning her phrase. It sounded as if there was more that she was going to say. Damn, its been a whiile I've enganged in conversation with a stranger.

"Would you like a home? Food? An education?"

I stare at her. Its exactly what I wanted. One thing, do i really want to stay with another human? The very creature that i decided was disgusting an unpredictable? then again, if I want to live on, I've got to start somewhere. Besides, 'Tsunade' is a pretty okay person so far. She doesn't seem so bad. Heck, the old man talks to her.

"Of course," I finally reply. Yes, it was something I wanted, something I needed, something I longed for, "Thanks."

"No problem," she replies, her smile nice a wide, "From now on, you are the apprentice of the legendary Tsunade." I couldn't help but smile with her as she led me to the room that I was supposed to stay in. I'm a little scared about the outcome, I guess this could be my last chance to have faith in another human. Besides, the warmth from being in a house, and being dragged around by my future guardian wasn't so bad. She seemed like an okay personality, but her drunken nights must be frequent with the way she chatted up the old man. Still, nothing can really be said until the future.

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_**A/N: Heh, the first two chapters are pretty short eh? Yeah, it's just build up. Hooray for character development and MAGIC! xD It may seem a little stupid, but come on,give me points for being at least a little bit creative on how Tsunade still looks young. xD**_


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